Death wears a tall, striped hat

We went to see a musical last night. It was one of those town-and-gown things where college students and community members join forces, and to be honest, our hopes weren’t very high.

It was staged very well, though. It was directed with energy and imagination. The designs were eye-catching and very functional for the demands of the show. The cast was uniformly good, especially the kids.

It was also one of the worst musicals I’ve ever seen. It was Seussical, and it must be stopped.

It’s one of those situations where you can see the thinking behind it – turn the aesthetic of a beloved children’s book author into a different kind of all-ages entertainment and wait for the cash to roll in as all the families who read Horton Hears a Who and The Cat in the Hat and the rest of Theodor Geisel’s classic stories line up for tickets.

But the reality of it is so pushy and shrill and antithetical to everything Geisel ever put on paper. When it tries to be sweet or reflective, it ends up being cloying or preachy. When it tries to be antic and playful, you end up feeling battered by the forced cheer of it all.

The songs are completely forgettable, thank heavens. I have a general memory of them sounding like a theme park revue, but none of them stuck in my head. You might expect a shred of whimsy or quirkiness in music intended to serve Geisel’s stories. Instead, it comes in two modes: perkiness and treacle.

The attempt to give the show an underlying narrative seems like a ghastly mistake, too. If they had decided to make it a sort of story-hour musical with loosely connected vignettes, like You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown, it might have worked. But the conceivers were too clever by half, threading everything together and creating what I can only describe as a Seussian shared universe. Since Geisel was so careful and focused in his portrayal of themes, it becomes a huge muddle and nothing comes across.

Speaking of You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown, it apparently suffered a somewhat similar fate in its last major revival. The original production (and hundreds of community and school productions that followed) was a sweet, simple piece that nicely echoed the tone of Charles Schulz’s classic strip. When it was re-mounted for Broadway a few years ago, it was amped up and dumbed down beyond all recognition, notable only for unleashing Kristin Chenoweth on an unsuspecting public.

Seussical ran for six months on Broadway, which seems like a few months too long. It’s absolutely talent-proof, and if it comes to your town during this holiday season, please avoid it. Stay home and read the books or watch the animated versions.