Dozens of innocent bystanders were stunned into insensibility today by the colossal hugeness of Tokyopop’s latest announcement from the front lines Global Manga Revolution. Victims are being treated at the Hype Recovery Ward at Stan Lee Memorial Hospital.
Citizens as yet unaffected by the hugeness are advised to report to secure locations until this mammoth innovation is no longer blotting out the sun. If citizens cannot avoid the hugeness, they are advised to view it only through a cardboard tube with a piece of wax paper fitted over the end to avoid excessive dazzling.
When questioned about the company’s culpability, a Tokyopop representative appeared unapologetic, even gleeful:
“Less than a decade ago, if you strolled through your local chain bookstore, you wouldn’t be able to find manga anywhere. There was no section, no category, no awareness. But, TOKYOPOP changed all that. We created a category because we saw a need, and we’re doing it again with our kids manga lines, both ideal for reluctant readers and future manga fans.”
Once again, an admirable and intelligent publishing strategy has been positioned as the HUGEST THING IN THE HISTORY OF EVER.